FINNEGANS WAKE

James Joyce

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O

tell me all about

Anna Livia! I want to hear all

about Anna Livia. Well, you know Anna Livia? Yes, of course,

we all know Anna Livia. Tell me all. Tell me now. You'll die

when you hear. Well, you know, when the old cheb went futt

and did what you know. Yes, I know, go on. Wash quit and

don't be dabbling. Tuck up your sleeves and loosen your talk-

tapes. And don't butt me — hike! — when you bend. Or what-

ever it was they threed to make out he thried to two in the

Fiendish park. He's an awful old reppe. Look at the shirt of him!

Look at the dirt of it! He has all my water black on me. And it

steeping and stuping since this time last wik. How many goes

is it I wonder I washed it? I know by heart the places he likes to

saale, duddurty devil! Scorching my hand and starving my fa-

mine to make his private linen public. Wallop it well with your

battle and clean it. My wrists are wrusty rubbing the mouldaw

stains. And the dneepers of wet and the gangres of sin in it! What

was it he did a tail at all on Animal Sendai? And how long was

he under loch and neagh? It was put in the newses what he did,

nicies and priers, the King fierceas Humphrey, with illysus dis-

tilling, exploits and all. But toms will till. I know he well. Temp

untamed will hist for no man. As you spring so shall you neap.

O, the roughty old rappe! Minxing marrage and making loof.

Reeve Gootch was right and Reeve Drughad was sinistrous! And

the cut of him! And the strut of him! How he used to hold his

head as high as a howeth, the famous eld duke alien, with a hump

of grandeur on him like a walking wiesel rat. And his derry's

own drawl and his corksown blather and his doubling stutter

and his gullaway swank. Ask Lictor Hackett or Lector Reade

of Garda Growley or the Boy with the Billyclub. How elster is

he a called at all? Qu'appelle? Huges Caput Earlyfouler. Or

where was he born or how was he found? Urgothland, Tvistown

on the Kattekat? New Hunshire, Concord on the Merrimake?

Who blocksmitt her saft anvil or yelled lep to her pail? Was her

banns never loosened in Adam and Eve's or were him and her

but captain spliced? For mine ether duck I thee drake. And by

my wildgaze I thee gander. Flowey and Mount on the brink of

time makes wishes and fears for a happy isthmass. She can show

all her lines, with love, license to play. And if they don't remarry

that hook and eye may! O, passmore that and oxus another! Don

Dom Dombdomb and his wee follyo! Was his help inshored in

the Stork and Pelican against bungelars, flu and third risk par-

ties? I heard he dug good tin with his doll, delvan first and duvlin

after, when he raped her home, Sabrine asthore, in a parakeet's

cage, by dredgerous lands and devious delts, playing catched and

mythed with the gleam of her shadda, (if a flic had been there to

pop up and pepper him!) past auld min's manse and Maisons

Allfou and the rest of incurables and the last of immurables, the

quaggy waag for stumbling. Who sold you that jackalantern's

tale? Pemmican's pasty pie! Not a grasshoop to ring her, not an

antsgrain of ore. In a gabbard he barqued it, the boat of life,

from the harbourless Ivernikan Okean, till he spied the loom of

his landfall and he loosed two croakers from under his tilt, the

gran Phenician rover. By the smell of her kelp they made the

pigeonhouse. Like fun they did! But where was Himself, the

timoneer? That marchantman he suivied their scutties right over

the wash, his cameleer's burnous breezing up on him, till with

his runagate bowmpriss he roade and borst her bar. Pilcomayo!

Suchcaughtawan! And the whale's away with the grayling! Tune

your pipes and fall ahumming, you born ijypt, and you're no-

thing short of one! Well, ptellomey soon and curb your escumo.

When they saw him shoot swift up her sheba sheath, like any

gay lord salomon, her bulls they were ruhring, surfed with

spree. Boyarka buah! Boyana bueh! He erned his lille Bunbath

hard, our staly bred, the trader. He did. Look at here. In this wet

of his prow. Don't you know he was kaldt a bairn of the brine,

Wasserbourne the waterbaby? Havemmarea, so he was! H.C.E.

has a codfisck ee. Shyr she's nearly as badher as him herself.

Who? Anna Livia? Ay, Anna Livia. Do you know she was call-

ing bakvandets sals from all around, nyumba noo, chamba choo,

to go in till him, her erring cheef, and tickle the pontiff aisy-oisy?

She was? Gota pot! Yssel that the limmat? As El Negro winced

when he wonced in La Plate. O, tell me all I want to hear, how

loft she was lift a laddery dextro! A coneywink after the bunting

fell. Letting on she didn't care, sina feza, me absantee, him man

in passession, the proxenete! Proxenete and phwhat is phthat?

Emme for your reussischer Honddu jarkon! Tell us in franca

langua. And call a spate a spate. Did they never sharee you ebro

at skol, you antiabecedarian? It's just the same as if I was to go

par examplum now in conservancy's cause out of telekinesis and

proxenete you. For coxyt sake and is that what she is? Botlettle

I thought she'd act that loa. Didn't you spot her in her windaug,

wubbling up on an osiery chair, with a meusic before her all

cunniform letters, pretending to ribble a reedy derg on a fiddle

she bogans without a band on? Sure she can't fiddan a dee, with

bow or abandon! Sure, she can't! Tista suck. Well, I never now

heard the like of that! Tell me moher. Tell me moatst. Well, old

Humber was as glommen as grampus, with the tares at his thor

and the buboes for ages and neither bowman nor shot abroad and

bales allbrant on the crests of rockies and nera lamp in kitchen or

church and giant's holes in Grafton's causeway and deathcap

mushrooms round Funglus grave and the great tribune's barrow

all darnels occumule, sittang sambre on his sett, drammen and

drommen, usking queasy quizzers of his ruful continence, his

childlinen scarf to encourage his obsequies where he'd check their

debths in that mormon's thames, be questing and handsetl, hop,

step and a deepend, with his berths in their toiling moil, his swal-

lower open from swolf to fore and the snipes of the gutter pecking

his crocs, hungerstriking all alone and holding doomsdag over

hunselv, dreeing his weird, with his dander up, and his fringe

combed over his eygs and droming on loft till the sight of the

sternes, after zwarthy kowse and weedy broeks and the tits of

buddy and the loits of pest and to peer was Parish worth thette

mess. You'd think all was dodo belonging to him how he durmed

adranse in durance vaal. He had been belching for severn years.

And there she was, Anna Livia, she darent catch a winkle of

sleep, purling around like a chit of a child, Wendawanda, a finger-

thick, in a Lapsummer skirt and damazon cheeks, for to ishim

bonzour to her dear dubber Dan. With neuphraties and sault

from his maggias. And an odd time she'd cook him up blooms

of fisk and lay to his heartsfoot her meddery eygs, yayis, and

staynish beacons on toasc and a cupenhave so weeshywashy of

Greenland's tay or a dzoupgan of Kaffue mokau an sable or

Sikiang sukry or his ale of ferns in trueart pewter and a shin-

kobread (hamjambo, bana?) for to plaise that man hog stay his

stomicker till her pyrraknees shrunk to nutmeg graters while her

togglejoints shuck with goyt and as rash as she'd russ with her

peakload of vivers up on her sieve (metauwero rage it swales and

rieses) my hardey Hek he'd kast them frome him, with a stour

of scorn, as much as to say you sow and you sozh, and if he didn't

peg the platteau on her tawe, believe you me, she was safe

enough. And then she'd esk to vistule a hymn, The Heart Bowed

Down or The Rakes of Mallow or Chelli Michele's La Calumnia è

un Vermicelli or a balfy bit ov old Jo Robidson. Sucho fuffing a

fifeing 'twould cut you in two! She'd bate the hen that crowed

on the turrace of Babbel. What harm if she knew how to cockle

her mouth! And not a mag out of Hum no more than out of the

mangle weight. Is that a faith? That's the fact. Then riding the

ricka and roya romanche, Annona, gebroren aroostokrat Nivia,

dochter of Sense and Art, with Sparks' pirryphlickathims funk-

ling her fan, anner frostivying tresses dasht with virevlies,

while the prom beauties sreeked nith their bearers' skins! — in

a period gown of changeable jade that would robe the wood of

two cardinals' chairs and crush poor Cullen and smother Mac-

Cabe. O blazerskate! Theirs porpor patches! And brahming to

him down the feedchute, with her femtyfyx kinds of fondling

endings, the poother rambling off her nose: Vuggybarney,

Wickerymandy! Hello, ducky, please don't die! Do you know

what she started cheeping after, with a choicey voicey like water-

glucks or Madame Delba to Romeoreszk? You'll never guess.

Tell me. Tell me. Phoebe, dearest, tell, O tell me and I loved you

better nor you knew. And letting on hoon var daft about the warbly

sangs from over holmen: High hellskirt saw ladies hensmoker lily-

hung pigger: and soay and soan and so firth and so forth in a tone

sonora and Oom Bothar below like Bheri-Bheri in his sandy

cloak, so umvolosy, as deaf as a yawn, the stult! Go away! Poor

deef old deary! Yare only teasing! Anna Liv? As chalk is my

judge! And didn't she up in sorgues and go and trot doon and

stand in her douro, puffing her old dudheen, and every shirvant

siligirl or wensum farmerette walking the pilend roads, Sawy,

Fundally, Daery or Maery, Milucre, Awny or Graw, usedn't she

make her a simp or sign to slip inside by the sullyport? You don't

say, the sillypost? Bedouix but I do! Calling them in, one by one

(To Blockbeddum here! Here the Shoebenacaddie!) and legging

a jig or so on the sihl to show them how to shake their benders

and the dainty how to bring to mind the gladdest garments out

of sight and all the way of a maid with a man and making a sort

of a cackling noise like two and a penny or half a crown and hold-

ing up a silliver shiner. Lordy, lordy, did she so? Well, of all the

ones ever I heard! Throwing all the neiss little whores in the

world at him! To inny captured wench you wish of no matter

what sex of pleissful ways two adda tammar a lizzy a lossie to

hug and hab haven in Humpy's apron!

And what was the wyerye rima she made! Odet! Odet! Tell

me the trent of it while I'm lathering hail out of Denis Florence

MacCarthy's combies. Rise it, flut ye, pian piena! I'm dying

down off my iodine feet until I lerryn Anna Livia's cushingloo,

that was writ by one and rede by two and trouved by a poule in

the parco! I can see that, I see you are. How does it tummel?

Listen now. Are you listening? Yes, yes! Idneed I am! Tarn your

ore ouse! Essonne inne!

By earth end the cloudy but I badly want a brandnew bankside,

bedamp and I do, and a plumper at that!

   For the putty affair I have is wore out, so it is, sitting, yaping and

waiting for my old Dane hodder dodderer, my life in death companion,

my frugal key of our larder, my much-altered camel's hump, my

jointspoiler, my maymoon's honey, my fool to the last Decemberer,

to wake himself out of his winter's doze and bore me down like he

used to.

   Is there irwell a lord of the manor or a knight of the shire at strike,

I wonder, that'd dip me a dace or two in cash for washing and

darning his worshipful socks for him now we're run out of horse-

brose and milk?

   Only for my short Brittas bed made's as snug as it smells it's

out I'd lep and off with me to the slobs della Tolka or the plage au

Clontarf to feale the gay aire of my salt troublin bay and the race

of the saywint up me ambushure.

Onon! Onon! tell me more. Tell me every tiny teign. I want

to know every single ingul. Down to what made the potters fly

into jagsthole. And why were the vesles vet. That homa fever's

winning me wome. If a mahun of the horse but hard me! We'd

be bundukiboi meet askarigal. Well, now comes the hazel-

hatchery part. After Clondalkin the Kings's Inns. We'll soon be

there with the freshet. How many aleveens had she in tool? I can't

rightly rede you that. Close only knows. Some say she had three

figures to fill and confined herself to a hundred eleven, wan by-

wan bywan, making meanacuminamoyas. Olaph lamm et, all that

pack? We won't have room in the kirkeyaard. She can't remember

half of the cradlenames she smacked on them by the grace of her

boxing bishop's infallible slipper, the cane for Kund and abbles for

Eyolf and ayther nayther for Yakov Yea. A hundred and how?

They did well to rechristien her Pluhurabelle. O loreley! What a

loddon lodes! Heigh ho! But it's quite on the cards she'll shed

more and merrier, twills and trills, sparefours and spoilfives, nord-

sihkes and sudsevers and ayes and neins to a litter. Grandfarthring

nap and Messamisery and the knave of all knaves and the joker.

Heehaw! She must have been a gadabount in her day, so she

must, more than most. Shoal she was, gidgad. She had a flewmen

of her owen. Then a toss nare scared that lass, so aimai moe,

that's agapo! Tell me, tell me, how cam she camlin through all

her fellows, the neckar she was, the diveline? Casting her perils

before our swains from Fonte-in-Monte to Tidingtown and

from Tidingtown tilhavet. Linking one and knocking the next,

tapting a flank and tipting a jutty and palling in and pietaring

out and clyding by on her eastway. Waiwhou was the first thur-

ever burst? Someone he was, whuebra they were, in a tactic attack

or in single combat. Tinker, tilar, souldrer, salor, Pieman Peace

or Polistaman. That's the thing I'm elwys on edge to esk. Push

up and push vardar and come to uphill headquarters! Was it

waterlows year, after Grattan or Flood, or when maids were in

Arc or when three stood hosting? Fidaris will find where the

Doubt arises like Nieman from Nirgends found the Nihil. Worry

you sighin foh, Albern, O Anser? Untie the gemman's fistiknots,

Qvic and Nuancee! She can't put her hand on him for the mo-

ment. Tez thelon langlo, walking weary! Such a loon waybash-

wards to row! She sid herself she hardly knows whuon the annals

her graveller was, a dynast of Leinster, a wolf of the sea, or what

he did or how blyth she played or how, when, why, where and

who offon he jumpnad her and how it was gave her away. She

was just a young thin pale soft shy slim slip of a thing then,

sauntering, by silvamoonlake and he was a heavy trudging

lurching lieabroad of a Curraghman, making his hay for whose

sun to shine on, as tough as the oaktrees (peats be with them!)

used to rustle that time down by the dykes of killing Kildare,

for forstfellfoss with a plash across her. She thought she's sankh

neathe the ground with nymphant shame when he gave her the

tigris eye! O happy fault! Me wish it was he! You're wrong there,

corribly wrong! Tisn't only tonight you're anacheronistic! It

was ages behind that when nullahs were nowhere, in county

Wickenlow, garden of Erin, before she ever dreamt she'd lave

Kilbride and go foaming under Horsepass bridge, with the great

southerwestern windstorming her traces and the midland's grain-

waster asarch for her track, to wend her ways byandby, robecca

or worse, to spin and to grind, to swab and to thrash, for all her

golden lifey in the barleyfields and pennylotts of Humphrey's

fordofhurdlestown and lie with a landleaper, wellingtonorseher.

Alesse, the lagos of girly days! For the dove of the dunas! Was-

ut? Izod? Are you sarthin suir? Not where the Finn fits into the

Mourne, not where the Nore takes lieve of Bloem, not where the

Braye divarts the Farer, not where the Moy changez her minds

twixt Cullin and Conn tween Cunn and Collin? Or where Neptune

sculled and Tritonville rowed and leandros three bumped heroines

two? Neya, narev, nen, nonni, nos! Then whereabouts in Ow and

Ovoca? Was it yst with wyst or Lucan Yokan or where the hand

of man has never set foot? Dell me where, the fairy ferse time! I

will if you listen. You know the dinkel dale of Luggelaw? Well,

there once dwelt a local heremite, Michael Arklow was his river-

end name, (with many a sigh I aspersed his lavabibs!) and one

venersderg in junojuly, oso sweet and so cool and so limber she

looked, Nance the Nixie, Nanon L'Escaut, in the silence, of the sy-

comores, all listening, the kindling curves you simply can't stop

feeling, he plunged both of his newly anointed hands, the core of

his cushlas, in her singimari saffron strumans of hair, parting them

and soothing her and mingling it, that was deepdark and ample

like this red bog at sundown. By that Vale Vowclose's lucydlac,

the reignbeau's heavenarches arronged orranged her. Afroth-

dizzying galbs, her enamelled eyes indergoading him on to the

vierge violetian. Wish a wish! Why a why? Mavro! Letty Lerck's

lafing light throw those laurals now on her daphdaph teasesong

petrock. Maass! But the majik wavus has elfun anon meshes.

And Simba the Slayer of his Oga is slewd. He cuddle not help

himself, thurso that hot on him, he had to forget the monk in

the man so, rubbing her up and smoothing her down, he baised

his lippes in smiling mood, kiss akiss after kisokushk (as he

warned her niver to, niver to, nevar) on Anna-na-Poghue's of

the freckled forehead. While you'd parse secheressa she hielt her

souff. But she ruz two feet hire in her aisne aestumation. And

steppes on stilts ever since. That was kissuahealing with bantur

for balm! O, wasn't he the bold priest? And wasn't she the

naughty Livvy? Nautic Naama's now her navn. Two lads in

scoutsch breeches went through her before that, Barefoot Burn

and Wallowme Wade, Lugnaquillia's noblesse pickts, before she

had a hint of a hair at her fanny to hide or a bossom to tempt a

birch canoedler not to mention a bulgic porterhouse barge. And

ere that again, leada, laida, all unraidy, too faint to buoy the

fairiest rider, too frail to flirt with a cygnet's plume, she was licked

by a hound, Chirripa-Chirruta, while poing her pee, pure and

simple, on the spur of the hill in old Kippure, in birdsong and

shearingtime, but first of all, worst of all, the wiggly livvly, she

sideslipped out by a gap in the Devil's glen while Sally her nurse

was sound asleep in a sloot and, feefee fiefie, fell over a spillway

before she found her stride and lay and wriggled in all the stag-

nant black pools of rainy under a fallow coo and she laughed

innocefree with her limbs aloft and a whole drove of maiden

hawthorns blushing and looking askance upon her.

Drop me the sound of the findhorn's name, Mtu or Mti, som-

bogger was wisness. And drip me why in the flenders was she

frickled. And trickle me through was she marcellewaved or was

it weirdly a wig she wore. And whitside did they droop their

glows in their florry, aback to wist or affront to sea? In fear to

hear the dear so near or longing loth and loathing longing? Are

you in the swim or are you out? O go in, go on, go an! I mean

about what you know. I know right well what you mean. Rother!

You'd like the coifs and guimpes, snouty, and me to do the

greasy jub on old Veronica's wipers. What am I rancing now

and I'll thank you? Is it a pinny or is it a surplice? Arran, where's

your nose? And where's the starch? That's not the vesdre bene-

diction smell. I can tell from here by their eau de Colo and the

scent of her oder they're Mrs Magrath's. And you ought to have

aird them. They've moist come off her. Creases in silk they

are, not crampton lawn. Baptiste me, father, for she has sinned!

Through her catchment ring she freed them easy, with her hips'

hurrahs for her knees'dontelleries. The only parr with frills in

old the plain. So they are, I declare! Welland well! If tomorrow

keeps fine who'll come tripping to sightsee? How'll? Ask me

next what I haven't got! The Belvedarean exhibitioners. In their

cruisery caps and oarsclub colours. What hoo, they band! And

what hoa, they buck! And here is her nubilee letters too. Ellis

on quay in scarlet thread. Linked for the world on a flush-

caloured field. Annan exe after to show they're not Laura Ke-

own's. O, may the diabolo twisk your seifety pin! You child of

Mammon, Kinsella's Lilith! Now who has been tearing the leg

of her drawars on her? Which leg is it? The one with the bells

on it. Rinse them out and aston along with you! Where did I

stop? Never stop! Continuarration! You're not there yet. I

amstel waiting. Garonne, garonne!

Well, after it was put in the Mericy Cordial Mendicants' Sitter-

dag-Zindeh-Munaday Wakeschrift (for once they sullied their

white kidloves, chewing cuds after their dinners of cheeckin and

beggin, with their show us it here and their mind out of that and

their when you're quite finished with the reading matarial), even

the snee that snowdon his hoaring hair had a skunner against

him. Thaw, thaw, sava, savuto! Score Her Chuff Exsquire!

Everywhere erriff you went and every bung you arver dropped

into, in cit or suburb or in addled areas, the Rose and Bottle or

Phoenix Tavern or Power's Inn or Jude's Hotel or wherever you

scoured the countryside from Nannywater to Vartryville or from

Porta Lateen to the lootin quarter you found his ikom etsched

tipside down or the cornerboys cammocking his guy and Morris

the Man, with the role of a royss in his turgos the turrible, (Evro-

peahahn cheic house, unskimmed sooit and yahoort, hamman

now cheekmee, Ahdahm this way make, Fatima, half turn!)

reeling and railing round the local as the peihos piped und uban-

jees twanged, with oddfellow's triple tiara busby rotundarinking

round his scalp. Like Pate-by-the-Neva or Pete-over-Meer. This

is the Hausman all paven and stoned, that cribbed the Cabin that

never was owned that cocked his leg and hennad his Egg. And

the mauldrin rabble around him in areopage, fracassing a great

bingkan cagnan with their timpan crowders. Mind your Grimm-

father! Think of your Ma! Hing the Hong is his jove's hang-

nomen! Lilt a bolero, bulling a law! She swore on croststyx nyne

wyndabouts she's be level with all the snags of them yet. Par the

Vulnerable Virgin's Mary del Dame! So she said to herself she'd

frame a plan to fake a shine, the mischiefmaker, the like of it you

niever heard. What plan? Tell me quick and dongu so crould!

What the meurther did she mague? Well, she bergened a zakbag,

a shammy mailsack, with the lend of a loan of the light of his

lampion, off one of her swapsons, Shaun the Post, and then she

went and consulted her chapboucqs, old Mot Moore, Casey's

Euclid and the Fashion Display and made herself tidal to join

in the mascarete. O gig goggle of gigguels. I can't tell you how!

It's too screaming to rizo, rabbit it all! Minneha, minnehi mina-

aehe, minneho! O but you must, you must really! Make my hear

it gurgle gurgle, like the farest gargle gargle in the dusky dirgle

dargle! By the holy well of Mulhuddart I swear I'd pledge my

chanza getting to heaven through Tirry and Killy's mount of

impiety to hear it all, aviary word! O, leave me my faculties,

woman, a while! If you don't like my story get out of the punt.

Well, have it your own way, so. Here, sit down and do as you're

bid. Take my stroke and bend to your bow. Forward in and pull

your overthepoise! Lisp it slaney and crisp it quiet. Deel me long-

some. Tongue your time now. Breathe thet deep. Thouat's the

fairway. Hurry slow and scheldt you go. Lynd us your blessed

ashes here till I scrub the canon's underpants. Flow now. Ower

more. And pooleypooley.

First she let her hair fal and down it flussed to her feet its

teviots winding coils. Then, mothernaked, she sampood herself

with galawater and fraguant pistania mud, wupper and lauar,

from crown to sole. Next she greesed the groove of her keel,

warthes and wears and mole and itcher, with antifouling butter-

scatch and turfentide and serpenthyme and with leafmould she

ushered round prunella isles and eslats dun, quincecunct, allover

her little mary. Peeld gold of waxwork her jellybelly and her

grains of incense anguille bronze. And after that she wove a gar-

land for her hair. She pleated it. She plaited it. Of meadowgrass

and riverflags, the bulrush and waterweed, and of fallen griefs of

weeping willow. Then she made her bracelets and her anklets

and her armlets and a jetty amulet for necklace of clicking cobbles

and pattering pebbles and rumbledown rubble, richmond and

rehr, of Irish rhunerhinerstones and shellmarble bangles. That

done, a dawk of smut to her airy ey, Annushka Lutetiavitch

Pufflovah, and the lellipos cream to her lippeleens and the pick

of the paintbox for her pommettes, from strawbirry reds to

extra violates, and she sendred her boudeloire maids to His

Affluence, Ciliegia Grande and Kirschie Real, the two chirsines,

with respecks from his missus, seepy and sewery, and a request

might she passe of him for a minnikin. A call to pay and light a

taper, in Brie-on-Arrosa, back in a sprizzling. The cock striking

mine, the stalls bridely sign, there's Zambosy waiting for Me!

She said she wouldn't be half her length away. Then, then, as

soon as the lump his back was turned, with her mealiebag slang

over her shulder, Anna Livia, oysterface, forth of her bassein

came.

Describe her! Hustle along, why can't you? Spitz on the iern

while it's hot. I wouldn't miss her for irthing on nerthe. Not for

the lucre of lomba strait. Oceans of Gaud, I mosel hear that!

Ogowe presta! Leste, before Julia sees her! Ishekarry and washe-

meskad, the carishy caratimaney? Whole lady fair? Duodecimo-

roon? Bon a ventura? Malagassy? What had she on, the liddel oud

oddity? How much did she scallop, harness and weights? Here

she is, Amnisty Ann! Call her calamity electrifies man.

No electress at all but old Moppa Necessity, angin mother of

injons. I'll tell you a test. But you must sit still. Will you hold

your peace and listen well to what I am going to say now? It

might have been ten or twenty to one of the night of Allclose or

the nexth of April when the flip of her hoogly igloo flappered and

out toetippit a bushman woman, the dearest little moma ever

you saw, nodding around her, all smiles, with ems of embarras

and aues to awe, between two ages, a judyqueen, not up to your

elb. Quick, look at her cute and saise her quirk for the bicker she

lives the slicker she grows. Save us and tagus! No more? Werra

where in ourthe did you ever pick a Lambay chop as big as a

battering ram? Ay, you're right. I'm epte to forgetting, Like

Liviam Liddle did Loveme Long. The linth of my hough, I say!

She wore a ploughboy's nailstudded clogs, a pair of ploughfields

in themselves: a sugarloaf hat with a gaudyquiviry peak and a

band of gorse for an arnoment and a hundred streamers dancing

off it and a guildered pin to pierce it: owlglassy bicycles boggled

her eyes: and a fishnetzeveil for the sun not to spoil the wrinklings

of her hydeaspects: potatorings boucled the loose laubes of her

laudsnarers: her nude cuba stockings were salmospotspeckled: she

sported a galligo shimmy of hazevaipar tinto that never was fast

till it ran in the washing: stout stays, the rivals, lined her length:

her bloodorange bockknickers, a two in one garment, showed

natural nigger boggers, fancyfastened, free to undo: her black-

stripe tan joseph was sequansewn and teddybearlined, with wavy

rushgreen epaulettes and a leadown here and there of royal

swansruff: a brace of gaspers stuck in her hayrope garters: her

civvy codroy coat with alpheubett buttons was boundaried round

with a twobar tunnel belt: a fourpenny bit in each pocketside

weighed her safe from the blowaway windrush; she had a clothes-

peg tight astride on her joki's nose and she kep on grinding a

sommething quaint in her fiumy mouth and the rrreke of the

fluve of the tail of the gawan of her snuffdrab siouler's skirt

trailed ffiffty odd Irish miles behind her lungarhodes.

Hellsbells, I'm sorry I missed her! Sweet gumptyum and no-

body fainted! But in whelk of her mouths? Was her naze alight?

Everyone that saw her said the dowce little delia looked a bit

queer. Lotsy trotsy, mind the poddle! Missus, be good and don't

fol in the say! Fenny poor hex she must have charred. Kickhams

a frumpier ever you saw! Making mush mullet's eyes at her boys

dobelon. And they crowned her their chariton queen, all the

maids. Of the may? You don't say! Well for her she couldn't

see herself. I recknitz wharfore the darling murrayed her mirror.

She did? Mersey me! There was a koros of drouthdropping sur-

facemen, boomslanging and plugchewing, fruiteyeing and flower-

feeding, in contemplation of the fluctuation and the undification

of her filimentation, lolling and leasing on North Lazers' Waal

all eelfare week by the Jukar Yoick's and as soon as they saw her

meander by that marritime way in her grasswinter's weeds and

twigged who was under her archdeaconess bonnet, Avondale's

fish and Clarence's poison, sedges an to aneber, Wit-upon-

Crutches to Master Bates: Between our two southsates and the

granite they're warming, or her face has been lifted or Alp has doped!

But what was the game in her mixed baggyrhatty? Just the

tembo in her tumbo or pilipili from her pepperpot? Saas and

taas and specis bizaas. And where in thunder did she plunder?

Fore the battle or efter the ball? I want to get it frisk from the

soorce. I aubette my bearb it's worth while poaching on! Shake

it up, do, do! That's a good old son of a ditch! I promise I'll

make it worth your while. And I don't mean maybe. Nor yet

with a goodfor. Spey me pruth and I'll tale you true.

Well, arundgirond in a waveney lyne aringarouma she pattered

and swung and sidled, dribbling her boulder through narrowa

mosses, the diliskydrear on our drier side and the vilde vetchvine

agin us, curara here, careero there, not knowing which medway

or weser to strike it, edereider, making chattahoochee all to her

ain chichiu, like Santa Claus at the cree of the pale and puny,

nistling to hear for their tiny hearties, her arms encircling Isola-

bella, then running with reconciled Romas and Reims, on like a

lech to be off like a dart, then bathing Dirty Hans' spatters with

spittle, with a Christmas box apiece for aisch and iveryone of her

childer, the birthday gifts they dreamt they gabe her, the spoiled

she fleetly laid at our door! On the matt, by the pourch and in-

under the cellar. The rivulets ran aflod to see, the glashaboys, the

pollynooties. Out of the paunschaup on to the pyre. And they all

about her, juvenile leads and ingenuinas, from the slime of their

slums and artesaned wellings, rickets and riots, like the Smyly

boys at their vicereine's levee. Vivi vienne, little Annchen! Vielo

Anna, high life! Sing us a sula, O, susuria! Ausone sidulcis!

Hasn't she tambre! Chipping her and raising a bit of a chir or a

jary every dive she'd neb in her culdee sacco of wabbash she

raabed and reach out her maundy meerschaundize, poor souvenir

as per ricorder and all for sore aringarung, stinkers and heelers,

laggards and primelads, her furzeborn sons and dribblederry

daughters, a thousand and one of them, and wickerpotluck for

each of them. For evil and ever. And kiks the buch. A tinker's

bann and a barrow to boil his billy for Gipsy Lee; a cartridge of

cockaleekie soup for Chummy the Guardsman; for sulky Pen-

der's acid nephew deltoid drops, curiously strong; a cough and

a rattle and wildrose cheeks for poor Piccolina Petite MacFarlane;

a jigsaw puzzle of needles and pins and blankets and shins between

them for Isabel, Jezebel and Llewelyn Mmarriage; a brazen nose

and pigiron mittens for Johnny Walker Beg; a papar flag of the

saints and stripes for Kevineen O'Dea; a puffpuff for Pudge Craig

and a nightmarching hare for Techertim Tombigby; waterleg

and gumboots each for Bully Hayes and Hurricane Hartigan;

a prodigal heart and fatted calves for Buck Jones, the pride of

Clonliffe; a loaf of bread and a father's early aim for Val from

Skibereen; a jauntingcar for Larry Doolin, the Ballyclee jackeen;

a seasick trip on a government ship for Teague O'Flanagan; a

louse and trap for Jerry Coyle; slushmincepies for Andy Mac-

kenzie; a hairclip and clackdish for Penceless Peter; that twelve

sounds look for G. V. Brooke; a drowned doll, to face down-

wards for modest Sister Anne Mortimer; altar falls for Blanchisse's

bed; Wildairs' breechettes for Magpeg Woppington; to Sue Dot

a big eye; to Sam Dash a false step; snakes in clover, picked and

scotched, and a vaticanned viper catcher's visa for Patsy Presbys;

a reiz every morning for Standfast Dick and a drop every minute

for Stumblestone Davy; scruboak beads for beatified Biddy; two

appletweed stools for Eva Mobbely; for Saara Philpot a jordan

vale tearorne; a pretty box of Pettyfib's Powder for Eileen Aruna

to whiten her teeth and outflash Helen Arhone; a whippingtop

for Eddy Lawless; for Kitty Coleraine of Butterman's Lane a

penny wise for her foolish pitcher; a putty shovel for Terry the

Puckaun; an apotamus mask for Promoter Dunne; a niester egg

with a twicedated shell and a dynamight right for Pavl the Curate;

a collera morbous for Mann in the Cloack; a starr and girton for

Draper and Deane; for Will-of-the-Wisp and Barny-the-Bark two

mangolds noble to sweeden their bitters; for Oliver Bound a

way in his frey; for Seumas, thought little, a crown he feels big;

a tibertine's pile with a Congoswood cross on the back for

Sunny Twimjim; a praises be and spare me days for Brian-the

Bravo; penteplenty of pity with lubilashings of lust for Olona

Lena Magdalena; for Camilla, Dromilla, Ludmilla, Mamilla, a

bucket, a packet, a book and a pillow; for Nancy Shannon a

Tuami brooch; for Dora Riparia Hopeandwater a cooling douche

and a warmingpan; a pair of Blarney braggs for Wally Meagher;

a hairpin slatepencil for Elsie Oram to scratch her toby, doing

her best with her volgar fractions; an old age pension for Betty

Bellezza; a bag of the blues for Funny Fitz; a Missa pro Messa for

Taff de Taff; Jill, the spoon of a girl, for Jack, the broth of a boy;

a Rogerson Crusoe's Friday fast for Caducus Angelus Rubicon-

stein; three hundred and sixtysix poplin tyne for revery warp in

the weaver's woof for Victor Hugonot; a stiff steaded rake and

good varians muck for Kate the Cleaner; a hole in the ballad for

Hosty; two dozen of cradles for J.F.X.P. Coppinger; tenpounten

on the pop for the daulphins born with five spoiled squibs for

Infanta; a letter to last a lifetime for Maggi beyond by the ashpit;

the heftiest frozenmeat woman from Lusk to Livienbad for Felim

the Ferry; spas and speranza and symposium's syrup for decayed

and blind and gouty Gough; a change of naves and joys of ills

for Armoricus Tristram Amoor Saint Lawrence; a guillotine

shirt for Reuben Redbreast and hempen suspendeats for Bren-

nan on the Moor; an oakanknee for Conditor Sawyer and mus-

quodoboits for Great Tropical Scott; a C3 peduncle for Karma-

lite Kane; a sunless map of the month, including the sword and

stamps, for Shemus O'Shaun the Post; a jackal with hide for

Browne but Nolan; a stonecold shoulder for Donn Joe Vance;

all lock and no stable for Honorbright Merreytrickx; a big drum

for Billy Dunboyne; a guilty goldeny bellows, below me blow

me, for Ida Ida and a hushaby rocker, Elletrouvetout, for Who-is-

silvier — Where-is-he?; whatever you like to swilly to swash,

Yuinness or Yennessy, Laagen or Niger, for Festus King and

Roaring Peter and Frisky Shorty and Treacle Tom and O. B.

Behan and Sully the Thug and Master Magrath and Peter Cloran

and O'Delawarr Rossa and Nerone MacPacem and whoever you

chance to meet knocking around; and a pig's bladder balloon for

Selina Susquehanna Stakelum. But what did she give to Pruda

Ward and Katty Kanel and Peggy Quilty and Briery Brosna and

Teasy Kieran and Ena Lappin and Muriel Maassy and Zusan Camac

and Melissa Bradogue and Flora Ferns and Fauna Fox-Good-

man and Grettna Greaney and Penelope Inglesante and Lezba

Licking like Leytha Liane and Roxana Rohan with Simpatica

Sohan and Una Bina Laterza and Trina La Mesme and Philomena

O'Farrell and Irmak Elly and Josephine Foyle and Snakeshead

Lily and Fountainoy Laura and Marie Xavier Agnes Daisy

Frances de Sales Macleay? She gave them ilcka madre's daughter

a moonflower and a bloodvein: but the grapes that ripe before

reason to them that devide the vinedress. So on Izzy, her shame-

maid, love shone befond her tears as from Shem, her penmight,

life past befoul his prime.

My colonial, wardha bagful! A bakereen's dusind with tithe

tillies to boot. That's what you may call a tale of a tub! And Hi-

bernonian market! All that and more under one crinoline enve-

lope if you dare to break the porkbarrel seal. No wonder they'd

run from her pison plague. Throw us your hudson soap for the

honour of Clane! The wee taste the water left. I'll raft it back,

first thing in the marne. Merced mulde! Ay, and don't forget the

reckitts I lohaned you. You've all the swirls your side of the cur-

rent. Well, am I to blame for that if I have? Who said you're to

blame for that if you have? You're a bit on the sharp side. I'm on

the wide. Only snuffers' cornets drifts my way that the cracka

dvine chucks out of his cassock, with her estheryear's marsh

narcissus to make him recant his vanitty fair. Foul strips of his

chinook's bible I do be reading, dodwell disgustered but chickled

with chuckles at the tittles is drawn on the tattlepage. Senior ga

dito: Faciasi Omo! E omo fu fò. Ho! Ho! Senior ga dito: Faciasi

Hidamo! Hidamo se ga facessà. Ha! Ha! And Die Windermere

Dichter and Lefanu (Sheridan's) old House by the Coachyard and

Mill (J.) On Woman with Ditto on the Floss. Ja, a swamp for Alt-

muehler and a stone for his flossies! I know how racy they move

his wheel. My hands are blawcauld between isker and suda like

that piece of pattern chayney there, lying below. Or where is it?

Lying beside the sedge I saw it. Hoangho, my sorrow, I've lost

it! Aimihi! With that turbary water who could see? So near and

yet so far! But O, gihon! I lovat a gabber. I could listen to maure

and moravar again. Regn onder river. Flies do your float. Thick

is the life for mere.

Well, you know or don't you kennet or haven't I told you

every telling has a taling and that's the he and the she of it. Look,

look, the dusk is growing! My branches lofty are taking root.

And my cold cher's gone ashley. Fieluhr? Filou! What age is at?

It saon is late. 'Tis endless now senne eye or erewone last saw

Waterhouse's clogh. They took it asunder, I hurd thum sigh.

When will they reassemble it? O, my back, my back, my bach!

I'd want to go to Aches-les-Pains. Pingpong! There's the Belle

for Sexaloitez! And Concepta de Send-us-pray! Pang! Wring out

the clothes! Wring in the dew! Godavari, vert the showers! And

grant thaya grace! Aman. Will we spread them here now? Ay,

we will. Flip! Spread on your bank and I'll spread mine on mine.

Flep! It's what I'm doing. Spread! It's churning chill. Der went is

rising. I'll lay a few stones on the hostel sheets. A man and his bride

embraced between them. Else I'd have sprinkled and folded them

only. And I'll tie my butcher's apron here. It's suety yet. The

strollers will pass it by. Six shifts, ten kerchiefs, nine to hold to

the fire and this for the code, the convent napkins, twelve, one

baby's shawl. Good mother Jossiph knows, she said. Whose

head? Mutter snores? Deataceas! Wharnow are alle her childer,

say? In kingdome gone or power to come or gloria be to them

farther? Allalivial, allalluvial! Some here, more no more, more

again lost alla stranger. I've heard tell that same brooch of the

Shannons was married into a family in Spain. And all the Dun-

ders de Dunnes in Markland's Vineland beyond Brendan's herring

pool takes number nine in yangsee's hats. And one of Biddy's

beads went bobbing till she rounded up lost histereve with a

marigold and a cobbler's candle in a side strain of a main drain

of a manzinahurries off Bachelor's Walk. But all that's left to the

last of the Meaghers in the loup of the years prefixed and between

is one kneebuckle and two hooks in the front. Do you tell me

that now? I do in troth. Orara por Orbe and poor Las Animas!

Ussa, Ulla, we're umbas all! Mezha, didn't you hear it a deluge of

times, ufer and ufer, respund to spond? You deed, you deed! I

need, I need! It's that irrawaddyng I've stoke in my aars. It all

but husheth the lethest zswound. Oronoko! What's your trouble?

Is that the great Finnleader himself in his joakimono on his statue

riding the high horse there forehengist? Father of Otters, it is

himself! Yonne there! Isset that? On Fallareen Common? You're

thinking of Astley's Amphitheayter where the bobby restrained

you making sugarstuck pouts to the ghostwhite horse of the

Peppers. Throw the cobwebs from your eyes, woman, and spread

your washing proper! It's well I know your sort of slop. Flap!

Ireland sober is Ireland stiff. Lord help you, Maria, full of grease,

the load is with me! Your prayers. I sonht zo! Madammangut!

Were you lifting your elbow, tell us, glazy cheeks, in Conway's

Carrigacurra canteen? Was I what, hobbledyhips? Flop! Your

rere gait's creakorheuman bitts your butts disagrees. Amn't I

up since the damp dawn, marthared mary allacook, with Corri-

gan's pulse and varicoarse veins, my pramaxle smashed, Alice

Jane in decline and my oneeyed mongrel twice run over, soaking

and bleaching boiler rags, and sweating cold, a widow like me,

for to deck my tennis champion son, the laundryman with the

lavandier flannels? You won your limpopo limp fron the husky

hussars when Collars and Cuffs was heir to the town and your

slur gave the stink to Carlow. Holy Scamander, I sar it again!

Near the golden falls. Icis on us! Seints of light! Zezere! Subdue

your noise, you hamble creature! What is it but a blackburry

growth or the dwyergray ass them four old codgers owns. Are

you meanam Tarpey and Lyons and Gregory? I meyne now,

thank all, the four of them, and the roar of them, that draves

that stray in the mist and old Johnny MacDougal along with

them. Is that the Poolbeg flasher beyant, pharphar, or a fireboat

coasting nyar the Kishtna or a glow I behold within a hedge or

my Garry come back from the Indes? Wait till the honeying of

the lune, love! Die eve, little eve, die! We see that wonder in

your eye. We'll meet again, we'll part once more. The spot I'll

seek if the hour you'll find. My chart shines high where the blue

milk's upset. Forgivemequick, I'm going! Bubye! And you,

pluck your watch, forgetmenot. Your evenlode. So save to

jurna's end! My sights are swimming thicker on me by the sha-

dows to this place. I sow home slowly now by own way, moy-

valley way. Towy I too, rathmine.

Ah, but she was the queer old skeowsha anyhow, Anna Livia,

trinkettoes! And sure he was the quare old buntz too, Dear Dirty

Dumpling, foostherfather of fingalls and dotthergills. Gammer

and gaffer we're all their gangsters. Hadn't he seven dams to wive

him? And every dam had her seven crutches. And every crutch

had its seven hues. And each hue had a differing cry. Sudds for

me and supper for you and the doctor's bill for Joe John. Befor!

Bifur! He married his markets, cheap by foul, I know, like any

Etrurian Catholic Heathen, in their pinky limony creamy birnies

and their turkiss indienne mauves. But at milkidmass who was

the spouse? Then all that was was fair. Tys Elvenland! Teems of

times and happy returns. The seim anew. Ordovico or viricordo.

Anna was, Livia is, Plurabelle's to be. Northmen's thing made

southfolk's place but howmulty plurators made eachone in per-

son? Latin me that, my trinity scholard, out of eure sanscreed into

oure eryan! Hircus Civis Eblanensis! He had buckgoat paps on

him, soft ones for orphans. Ho, Lord! Twins of his bosom. Lord

save us! And ho! Hey? What all men. Hot? His tittering daugh-

ters of. Whawk?

Can't hear with the waters of. The chittering waters of. Flitter-

ing bats, fieldmice bawk talk. Ho! Are you not gone ahome?

What Thom Malone? Can't hear with bawk of bats, all thim liffey-

ing waters of. Ho, talk save us! My foos won't moos. I feel as old

as yonder elm. A tale told of Shaun or Shem? All Livia's daughter-

sons. Dark hawks hear us. Night! Night! My ho head halls. I feel

as heavy as yonder stone. Tell me of John or Shaun? Who were

Shem and Shaun the living sons or daughters of? Night now!

Tell me, tell me, tell me, elm! Night night! Telmetale of stem or

stone. Beside the rivering waters of, hitherandthithering waters

of. Night!

River Saale, Germany

Vltava or Moldau

Dnieper

Ganges

Howth Head

Elster

Concord, Mass, U.S.

Merrimack, U.S.

Bann

Oxus or Amu Daria

Bojana

Erne

Emme

Loa

Windau

Meuse

Derg, lake in Ireland

Bogan

Cliff of Moher

Glomma

Rocky Mountains

Nera

Giant's Causeway

Sambre

Drammen

Drome

Usk

Thames

Zwarte

Willebroek Canal

Vaal

Amazon

frozen Ishim River

Kafue

Mokau (estuary)

AuSable

Sikiang

Shingo

Pyrenees

Goyt

Sieve

Swale

Sozh

Vistula

Roya

Romanche

Ebro

Aroostook

Nive

Sense

Arta

Nith

Soay Island

Firth of Forth

Bheri

Umfolozi

Yare

Sorgue

Doon

Douro

Wensum

Shubenacadie

Sihl

Neisse

Inny

Tamar

Lossie

Wye

Odet

Trent

Piana

Lerryn

Tummel

Ore

Ouse

Inn

Dodder

Irwell

Tolka

Feale

Dublin Bay, Three Rock Mountain

Aire

Onon

Teign

Ingul

Jagst

Vesle

Mahon

Loddon

Missouri

Cam

Camlin

Neckar

Tapti

Clyde

Waihou

Thur

Polist

Elwy

Esk

Vardar

Fidaris

Niger

Nile

Victoria Nyanza

Thelon

Wabash

Sid

Huon

Jumna

Curragh

Tigris

Corrib

Wicklow Mountains

Liffey at Kilbride

Liffey in Co.Wicklow

Lesse

Danube

Sarthe

Suir

Mourne Mountains

Slieve Bloom Mountains

Lough Cullin

Lough Conn

Neya

Narew

Ovoca

Ystwyth

Yukon

Dinkel

Luggelaw

Struma

Vaucluse

Maas

Baise

Lippe

Kiso

Neva

Aisne

Lugnaquillia, Wicklow Mts

Kippure

Devil's Glen

Sally Gap

Inisfree isle

Findhorn

Rother

Rance

Vesdre

Colo

Oder

Magra

Old

Annan

Exe

Amstel

Garonne

Maritsa

Zindeh or Zayande

Sava

Erriff

Arve

Inn

Nanny estuary, Laytown

Vartry

Etsch

Cammock

Ubangi

Neva

Mauldre

Dungu

Meurthe

Bocq

Dargle

Oise

Slaney

Tongue

Thouet

Scheldt

Fal

Wupper

Warthe

Wear

Mole

Esla

Peel

Richmond

Rhine

Loire

Mississipi

Irthing

Ogowe

Ishikari

Oudon

Hooghl

Embarras

Aue

Elbe

Tagus

Werra

Ourthe

Lambay Island

Epte

Sugarloaf Mountain

Guadalquivir

Arno

Guil

Netze

Hydaspes

Tinto

Seine

Rush

Lea

Somme

Sioule

Rhone

Whelk

Gumti

Sweetgum

Poddle

Mullet

Regnitz

Darling

Mersey

Koros

Waal

Jucar

Avon

Clarence

Bhagirathi

Aube

Spey

Prut

Arun

Gironde

Waveney

Narva

Curaray

Medway

Weser

Eider

Chattahoochee

Ain

Cree

IsolaBella Island

Lech

Dart

Aisch

Fleet

Vienne

Tambre

Dive

Neb

Sacco

Wabash, U.S.

Raab

Derry

Barrow

Tombigbee

Mackenzie

Reisa

Tweed

Mobile

Saar

Jordan

Orne

Dniester

Tiber

Congo

Rio Bravo

Olona

Lena

Magdalena

Shannon

Dora Riparia

Volga

Misa

Taff

Tyne

Amur

Robin Redbreast

Oconee

Musquodoboit

Yenisey

Lagan

Niger

King

Delaware

Rossa bridge, Liffey

Susquehanna

Brosna

Leitha

Sohan

Una

Macleay

Marne

Merced

Mulde

Dvina

Windermere

Iskar

Hoangho

Lovat

Morava

Kennet

Isis or Aset

Cher

Ashley

Saon

Senne

Clough

Ping

Godavari

Vert

Thaya

Churn

Derwent

Warnow

Alle

Yangtze

Hister (lat) = Danube

Manzanares in Madrid

Loup

Orara

Animas

Ulla

Umba

Mezha

Ufa

Irrawaddy

Q Northern Shaft / Q Southern Shaft

Aar

Lethe

Orinoco

Yonne

Isset

Isonzo

Amman

lavendar flower

Limpopo

Scamander

Isar

Golden Falls on Liffey

Isis

Hamble

Menam

Drave

Poolbeg Lighthouse

Nyar

Kish Lighthouse

Indus

Lune

Milky Way

Forget-me-not

Sow

Towy

Was

Sudd

Lim

Seim

Eure

Liffey

Moose